What responsibility do parents have for their children's mental health?
From an article by the Institute of Family Studies
Erica Komisar, a clinical social worker and psychoanalyst writes that children’s mental health issues are not isolated, arbitrary, or disconnected from their parents but are often the result of the misguided or neglectful or sometimes abusive relationships children have with their mothers and fathers. Parents play a crucial role in their children's mental well-being. She continues:
There is a sentiment amongst many of the parents who come to see me for parental guidance that children are the problem. “Fix my child,” many of them tell me.
Many parents can’t see how their behaviour, parenting style, or mental health issues may be impacting their children’s mental stability.
The rise of medication as a treatment for depression, anxiety, and ADHD puts the burden on the child. If a child’s pain is medicated away, then it is often unnecessary to address the parent’s part in a child’s mental state.
As a psychoanalyst who treats families, I will never treat a child or young adolescent without treating the parents too. In the USA, 1 in 14 children has a caregiver with poor mental health. It is usually the parents who need the treatment as opposed to the child, who is merely the barometer of how the family is doing.
It is every parent’s responsibility to raise their children with sensitive empathic nurturing, to be as emotionally and physically present for their children as possible, and to help regulate their children’s emotions when they experience pain, rejection, and disappointment, because pain and suffering are inevitable in the experience of growing up. Parents do not have a responsibility to protect children from all pain, but they should not be the source of pain and should help their children process when pain comes from the environment.
A real-life example of this would be if a child comes from a family that is nurturing and present but who is being bullied at school or online. Parents cannot prevent everything painful from happening, but they can help children to cope with adversity.
Many parents who read this may indeed respond by saying that there are not enough mental health care services in our communities, and if it exists, it is oversubscribed and too expensive. This is correct; however, the first line of defence for a child who may be homicidal or suicidal is A&E and that exists in every community and is available to everyone.
How can we increase parenting skills? See also the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Report UK 2023 which highlights the current crisis of parenting and family relationships along with suggested preventative measures.
Read the full article here.
[I include this article as we hear a lot about children's mental health and lack of services, etc., but we do not see any comment about parenting and the role of parents. Again, state agencies are seen as solution rather than looking at root causes. Shouldn't parenting be part of the debate?]
From an article by the Institute of Family Studies, 13/08/2024